My excitement at attending Pakistani wedding was quickly fading. I was informed that Pakistani wedding is an elaborate function. There will be four different types of ceremonies. Walima which we were attending is the final and the biggest event.
Three main ceremonies held are almost similar to what we do in Malaysia. We have similarities in Mehendi, Nikah and Walimah minus the music and dance.
One peculiar difference with the walimah is that almost all the walimah serves only one dish. I have attended the marriage of ameer (rich) family at a majestic hall in Lahore and also the marriage of sada sidha (normal) people hosted in tents in the village. They only serve one main dish. In Malaysia, even the normal people will serve a minimum of two dishes i.e. chicken and meat. Well to do families will have several main dishes, e.g. chicken, mutton, prawns and topped with side dishes such as laksa and char kuey teow. Whereas, for desserts they will serve you with ice creams, cakes and sometimes with local kuih-muih.
“Shabbir, is there any law that walimah should only serve one dish?” I asked jokingly to Shabbir. “Yes sir” Shabbir responded without thinking much. I was flabbergasted. Did he answer ‘yes’ as in yes there is a law or ‘yes’ as in acknowledging my sarcasm. “Why do almost all the weddings we have attended only serve one dish?” I tried rephrasing my question. “There is a law in Pakistan. Walimah should only serve one dish.” He reiterated. What! Law governing what can be served in walimah. Why! I quickly googled. Yes, there is a law governing the walimah. In fact, the Marriages (Prohibition of Wasteful Expenses) Act 1997 is meant to govern the overall expenses involved in organising a marriage. The objective of the act is to prohibit wasteful expenses. Wow! This is a culture shock for me. Additionally the act also governs the dowry. Dowry is an exploitative custom whereby the bride’s family are obliged to give certain gifts to the groom. Government’s effort to regulate this should be commendable. In Malaysia, apart from the mahar which is an obligatory sum given by the groom to the bride, the custom is for the groom to give ‘wang hantaran’ (cash gift) ‘to the bride’s family. There is no obligation for the bride’s family to give anything to the groom. However, there is the customary act of exchanging gifts mainly of personal items such as shirt and watch exchanged in decorated trays between the bride and groom.
Coming back to Kot Addu.
We have been wandering around despite being at the marriage hall. We have finally been directed to the hall entrance. Shabbir marched in front to ensure no further blunder. He opened the door and I was standing just a few steps behind him. I looked inside the hall and I quickly turned to my friend and he was busy with his handphone. It was too late for me to stop him from entering the hall. I was ready for whatever would be his reactions. I lost sight of Shabbir as he entered the hall and the door closed after him. I pushed the door, the hall was nicely arranged, there was a big partition separating the hall into two almost equal parts. Round dining tables were nicely arranged at the back portion of the hall. The front portion had these sofas and coffee table arrangements. More shockingly, the stage didn’t have the typical ‘pelamin’ (paired chairs and decoration for bride and groom to sit) rather on the stage there were only two and three seater sofas.
I calmly turned to my friend, his jaw almost dropped. Without saying a word, both of us turned towards Shabbir.
Shabbir hurriedly took his handphone from his pocket and pretended to be very busy. “Shabbir, is this the right hall?” I wanted his confirmation. “Where is the invitation card”. I asked further. “Ok, sir!” Shabbir answered. I was confused with this Ok sir. What is he okaying? He has this tendency to ‘forget’ English when he is in trouble. But, Shabbir was fast to suggest. “I will call the groom’s friend. I will confirm the location again”. I tried not to have eye contact with my friend. I’m to be blamed for not entertaining his request to have something to eat before heading here. I myself was also hungry. We just had the free breakfast provided at the hotel. I can almost feel the taste of the hot paratha which is usually served with chana that I saw in Multan. They also have egg paratha. It was cooked fresh as per the order and served hot. All is too late now. “We are at the correct hall.” Shabbir stopped my drooling. “Where is everybody? I thought the function should start at 1 pm.” I was questioning without expecting any answer. “The groom is on his way. He will arrive in another 20 minutes” Shabbir tried calming us.
In Malaysia, walimah these days are held almost in a similar manner. It will be held in a multi purpose hall. In Malaysia we seldom have designated marriage halls rather a multi purpose hall which are normally used as badminton courts and so on. It will be turned into a marriage hall when there is a marriage reservation. Normally walimah are held during lunch and food is served from 12 noon till 4 pm. Sometimes, there will also be dinner walimah which starts at 6 pm and ends around 9 pm. The food will be served by buffet.
I was expecting the same here. It was already 2 pm. I don’t even see that many guests. We were approached by one uncle and he introduced himself as a close relative of the groom. He ushered us to sit at the sofa in front. We just followed and made ourselves comfortable. While sitting there, many people approached us. The wait was filled with many introductions of new friends. Many were from the same industry I was in, i.e. power industry. Groom arrived shortly accompanied by the beat of dhol (local drum) and he was happy that I had made it to his marriage. He requested me and my friend to go on stage and to sit together with him there. Acha, now I understand why they have these sofas rather than the two chairs. I felt like a deja-vu to sit on stage at a wedding. I was rekindling my marriage memories. I have been away from my wife and I miss her so much. She was a strong woman who supported and encouraged me to pursue my dreams. I’m grateful to have her in my life.
I convinced myself to maximise my experience. We went on stage and sat with the groom. The bride and all the ladies were sitting on the other portion which was hidden from where we were sitting. People came and congratulated the groom.
Suddenly, I almost heard the sound of Jumanji’s drums rolling. I turned towards my friend, the sound came from his stomach. I knew he was starving. It was 3 pm and the food was nowhere to be seen. We excused ourselves from the stage and went back to the sofas. Both of us were now slouching on the sofa. Our energy has run out. My friend’s eyes were half shut. He was like Ultraman when fighting the monster, towards the end of his fight, when his energy rundown there will be this red light on his chest which will blink. The time for Ultraman is running out. He needs to finish the monster or else he will faint. Every minute passing by was like an hour. Around 3.30 pm, we saw the buffet trays being filled. I saw the same guys who were cooking outside the hall earlier who came to fill the trays. Shabbir was deceiving us when he told us the guys who were cooking outside just now were for another wedding. I will deal with Shabbir later. But now, we need to deal with our hunger.
By now, the hall was full. Almost all the guests had arrived and everyone was waiting for the food to be served. At almost 4 pm, the food buffet opened. As we were the guests of honor, they told us to sit tight and the food will be served. However, we politely rejected the offer and told them we don’t mind taking our food from the buffet. In actual fact, we don’t want to wait any further.
The food was awesome. We tried both the rice and roti which was served with the mutton. The famous sohan halwa of Multan was served as dessert.
After this marriage, I have attended many other marriage functions and we have realised that the culture of serving the food almost towards the end of the overall function is a norm. Thus, we usually will eat something light prior to the function to ensure no one faints during the function.
Ek Safar (The Journey) 
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